Category Archives: Family Matters

What I Did On My Christmas Vacation

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A Tale of Two Experiences

There’s something undeniably nostalgic about the phrase, What I Did on My Christmas Vacation. For many of us, it immediately conjures up memories of childhood – returning to school in January, bundled up in our winter coats, and being handed the inevitable post-holiday writing assignment. The topic was always the same: share your holiday experience in the form of a story, complete with a beginning, middle, and end. Back then, it was an exercise in creativity, structure, and self-expression. Now, as adults, we’re still asked the same question – though the audience has changed. Instead of teachers grading our grammar and imagination, we find ourselves recounting our holiday stories to work colleagues, catching up with friends, or even reflecting on it for ourselves.

This simple question has endured because it’s more than just small talk; it’s a way to connect, to share a piece of ourselves with others. Whether we’re reminiscing about the holidays of childhood, giving a polished version to coworkers, or swapping heartfelt moments with close friends, the answer allows us to revisit our experiences and build connections. With this throwback memory to those early school days, let me tell you about my Christmas vacation…

The #AdamsFamilyExperience at Christmas

As you can read here, this was to be no ordinary Christmas holiday at our house – for the first time in several years, everyone was coming home. 

All 21 of us!

Things unfolded as planned – everyone arrived pretty much on time, everyone was healthy, and everyone was happy to see siblings and cousins.

We had already designated Monday 12/23 as our “Christmas” – and on the night of the 22nd, all four of our kids and their spouses dove in after their kids, nieces, and nephews were in bed to create the first ever #AdamsFamilyExperience Christmas train:

It actually took less time that I anticipated; in some of Anita and my past experiences, I remember Christmas Eve assembly and wrapping sessions that lasted until the early hours of the morning! Of course, ten sets of hands helped!

The result speaks for itself – an engine with 11 cars, one for each grandchild!

The next fews days were mostly a blur as we unwrapped gifts, ate wonderful meals, played with new toys (grandkids) and games (adults), and just generally enjoyed the wonderful chaos called family.

We even had time to gather for a family photo:

When Christmas Day rolled around, it was time to begin saying goodbye as three of the families headed back home to continue their own Christmas traditions. Our NM tribe had planned to stay with us until the 30th.

…and then some other stuff happened.

The day after Christmas I was not feeling well, and took it easy most of the day. By 12/27 I was in quite a bit of pain, so Dr. Mom, AKA Anita, took me to urgent care where they promptly sent me off the the Emergency Department – where I spent the day into the next morning waiting for a hospital room so I could be transferred.

The diagnosis leaving the ED was surgery for a perforated ulcer, and the surgical team at Atrium Cabarrus was anticipating that as well. However, that’s not what God had planned.

Because of the delay in getting a room, then a delay in having an imaging test that would pinpoint the problem, it was actually Sunday 12/29 when the surgical team took a conservative approach – no surgery at the moment, but complete rest and IV fluids only for up to a week.

It seems my body had encapsulated the ulcer, and was in the process of healing itself. A fews days later I was able to observe first-hand the amazing view of swallowing a radioactive dye going down my throat and into and through the various organs – with no signs of a leak this time.

With vitals where they wanted them, I was discharged on Thursday 1/2 – only to be readmitted 12 hours later with intense pain in my chest. Focused on signs of cardiac distress, the triage team was not as fast as getting me in a room as I would have liked – but at least I got an ED room instead of the dozen or so patients who were lined up in the hallways (including the sheriff’s deputies and a patient in handcuffs)! Imaging revealed an inflamed gallbladder, likely as a result of what was going on next door with my ulcer.

After a few hours in the ED, I was transferred back to PSC-3 – the same post surgical wing with the same nursing staff I had just spent a week with. This group of dedicated nurses were simply the best in caregiving I have ever experienced. To a person they were gentle and efficient as they went beyond fulfilling what they had to do to actually caring about me as a person. Over my 10-day stay, they were amazing in looking out for me in every way imaginable. We even got to laugh over “losing” me during one of the procedures!

On Sunday 1/12 I heard the words from my surgical team I was anticipating: “Do you want to go home today?” With a genuinely fond farewell from the nursing team, Anita brought me home that evening, where I crashed for the next 14 hours.

My prognosis is good, with additional tests and imaging scheduled in about a month to see where my body is at in the healing process.

The boyhood me, receiving a post-holiday assignment, would have quite a tale to tell.

The adult me, reflecting on what happened over the past couple of weeks, has no less of a tale to tell.

Whether it’s an essay for a teacher, small talk with coworkers, or a heartfelt chat with friends, What I Did on My Christmas Vacation is a question that evolves with us. It’s a chance to reflect, share, and connect in ways that go beyond the surface. So the next time you hear it, embrace the opportunity to tell your story – and to learn a little more about the people asking the question. After all, the magic of the holidays lives on in the stories we share.

What did you do on your Christmas vacation?

Mastering the Adams Family Experience Christmas: A Tactical Guide

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The Christmas season is upon us, and in our household, this means only one thing: The Adams Family Experience Christmas is gearing up for another legendary chapter! 

With 21 people from five families descending upon Huntersville, NC over three travel days from four locations, coordinating this event is less like planning a holiday gathering and more like executing a military campaign. In the spirit of strategic brilliance, I’ve turned to Sun Tzu’s The Art of War for guidance. After all, if Sun Tzu can conquer kingdoms, surely he can help me conquer Christmas chaos.

Step 1: Know Thy Enemy — The Guest List

Sun Tzu wisely said, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” Our “enemy” is not the need for lactose-free eggnog or gluten-free stuffing demands – it’s the sheer logistics of hosting this crew:

  • From Alamogordo, NM: The desert-dwelling faction arrives with tales of tumbleweeds and an 3-year old whose energy rivals that of the Energizer Bunny.
  • From Farmville, VA: A group of refined Southern charmers who always bring a new (and weird) game that everyone enjoys. Accompanying them is the newest granddog, a lovable golden retriever with the biggest feet we’ve ever seen.
  • From Boone, NC: Our rugged mountain kin, eager to discuss “what real cold feels like” while chasing down the 18-month old “party animal”.
  • From Fuquay-Varina, NC: The suburbanites are bringing diva dog (a beagle who doesn’t know she is a dog) and endless enthusiasm for games of all kinds – as long as they win.

The ages of our crew range from precocious toddlers to the youngest “elders” you’ve ever seen in their mid-60s. That’s five generational cohorts in one house!

Step 2: Every Battle is Won Before It is Fought — Sleeping Arrangements

With a full house and a rented Airbnb 4 houses down the street, the sleeping strategy must be airtight. Here’s the tactical breakdown:

Our House: Reserved for the early risers, light sleepers, and those who require direct proximity to coffee and tea. It’s essentially triage by caffeine dependence.

  • Main Bedroom – The VA crew will be ensconced in the primary bedroom suite with kids, dog, and parents scattered around the space.
  • Front Bedroom – The NM parents will ride herd on their kids scattered upstairs and downstairs.
  • Disney Bedroom – The younger boys will be immersed in LEGO to their heart’s delight
  • Upstairs Bedroom – All the older girl cousins will be stacked up in double-decker cots.

The Airbnb: This fortress houses the night owls and party animals. The teenage boys, armed with iPhones and headphones, are banished to a makeshift barracks in the family room. 

  • Bedroom 1: Nina and GrandBob (the generals of this campaign) will run the whole multi-day event from this hideaway.
  • Bedroom 2 – The Boonie parents, accompanied by the youngest member of the family, will retreat here.
  • Bedroom 3 – The diva dog will be snoozing away at least 20 hours a day here, and has graciously consented to allow her people to stay and take care of her.

Step 3: Feed Your Troops — Meal Planning

“The line between disorder and order lies in logistics,” said Sun Tzu. Feeding 21 people, including gluten-free, lactose-intolerant, and diabetic contingents, is a logistical Everest. As you will see, we like to eat! Luckily, we have a lot of good cooks in the family! Here’s the plan:

Day 1: Reconnaissance Fare

As the crews begin arriving throughout the day, a light breakfast, followed by a visit to a great CLT restaurant, and ending with soup and chili is the plan. It’s versatile and scalable as our numbers increase during the day, and easily accommodates dietary needs.

Day 2: Full Crew Offensive

With almost the full #AdamsFamilyExperience tribe gathered, it’s time for a North Carolina staple at lunch: BBQ and all the fixings. When evening rolls around, it’s time for a Taco Bar, with specialties added in: Gluten-free tortillas, lactose-free sour cream, and enough of Uncle Aaron’s guac to fill a kiddie pool.

Day 3: Middle Earth Feast

A strategic masterpiece featuring the full seven meals of a hobbit’s day:

Everyone (well, maybe not the toddlers) is contributing to the feast courtesy of a shared Google doc and lots of research over the last month. At least half the fun will be the pandemonium of everyone working on their dishes throughout the day. It’s a good thing we will have two kitchens!

Day 4: Christmas Eve

Assuming we wake up from the previous day’s food coma, we will turn back to more traditional fare: breakfast goodies, Jimmy John’s sandwiches for lunch, and Mississippi Pot Roast for supper.

Day 5: Christmas Day

Pancakes! Fruit! Ham rolls! A Caprese Christmas Tree! Cranberry Orange Chicken! Roasted Root Vegetables! Winter Salad! Dessert! Oh. My.

Day 6: The Leftover Buffet

 As the crews begin to depart one by one, we will throw open the fridge and let the troops forage. Survivors will head to our favorite restaurant, La Unica, and the best server in the world, Nancy.

Day 7: Pizza Peace Talks

We’re down to one family besides Nina and GrandBob, but it’s the biggest with 5 kids! Time to roll out a family favorite: Pizza and a Movie!

Step 4: All Warfare is Based on Deception — Managing the Dogs

Two dogs present a unique challenge. Sun Tzu might suggest deploying decoys, but we’re going with containment zones:

  • The Retriever – Assigned to the main house, complete with chew toys and a toddler-proof deck for plenty of space to roam as needed.
  • The Beagle – Indoors at the main house, but nights at the Airbnb with the world’s softest dog bed to prevent territorial skirmishes.

From prior experience, there will be separate food/water bowls set up in different rooms in the house. Both dogs will be strategically kept away from the dining tables – a critical neutral zone.

Step 5: Let Your Plans Be Dark and Impenetrable — Entertainment Strategy

To maintain peace among 21 people, the entertainment schedule must be flawless. Sun Tzu reminds us, “Opportunities multiply as they are seized,” so we’ll seize opportunities for fun:

  • Board games for the adults and teenagers; LEGO, kid games, and Disney movies for the children, and a Christmas craft activity with Nina
  • The traditional Christmas LEGO project, drawing from a collection 40 years in the making
  • Morning and afternoon walks with the dogs
  • Outside fun on the playset or in the park, weather permitting
  • Fire pit and deck heater for after-hours conversations 
  • Christmas Eve service at our church
  • Family gift exchange, courtesy of a holiday Gift Train, with 11 “cars” (apparently, adults don’t count)
  • A family photo session that will be considered a success if it only takes 17 attempts
  • Planned spontaneity

Step 6: In the Midst of Chaos, There is Also Opportunity

Let’s face it: no amount of planning will prevent every toddler meltdown, burnt pie crust, or game argument. But as Sun Tzu might say, victory isn’t perfection – it’s managing the mayhem with grace and the occasional adult beverage.

This year, the #AdamsFamilyExperience Christmas will be a masterpiece of strategic planning, creative problem-solving, and good humor. And if all else fails, there’s always the peace treaty of Netflix, Disney+,  and all-day pajamas.

Happy holidays from the “battlefield” – AKA the AdamsFamilyExperience. May your Christmas be as merry and well-planned as ours is striving to be!

Love’s Deeper Meaning: Revealing Divine Presence in Marriage

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I have long admired the writings of Henri Nouwen. I became acquainted with his work during seminary in the early 1980s; his powerful and simple words have spoken to me deeply over the years. During the past month I have been reading old favorites along with some new-to-me works.

As Anita and I celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary this weekend, Nouwen’s words on marriage from Following Jesus: Finding Our Way Home in an Age of Anxiety have brought me to deep reflection.


Marriage is not that two people love each other so much that they can find God in each other, but that God loves them so much that they can discover each other as living reminders of God’s presence.

Henri Nouwen

The essence of love extends far beyond personal relationships. According to spiritual understanding, love fundamentally begins with our connection to God. We are capable of loving others because we have first experienced God’s unconditional and limitless love within ourselves.

In human relationships – especially through marriage – people discover a love that transcends individual capabilities. These connections are not primarily about personal compatibility or shared goals, but about revealing a greater divine love. Each nuance of the relationship becomes a window through which we can glimpse the infinite love of God.

The concept of a “person” is particularly meaningful in this context. Derived from Latin words meaning “to sound through,” a person is essentially a conduit for expressing a love larger than themselves. When we tell someone “I love you,” we are essentially saying, “You are a pathway through which I can perceive God’s infinite love.”

Intimate relationships are not about finding complete fulfillment in another person, but about recognizing the divine presence in each other. In marriage, for instance, the bond is not created because two people love each other perfectly, but because God’s love holds them together. The relationship becomes a living testament to God’s presence, creating a space of hospitality and connection.

When we have discovered God within ourselves – in our solitude and inner depths – we can then recognize the divine presence in others. It’s a profound mutual recognition where “love speaks to love, and God speaks to God.”

This perspective transforms how we understand human connections. Marriage is not just personal interactions, but sacred opportunities to manifest God’s love. Each part of the relationship becomes a collaborative effort to make divine love visible in the world.

The key insight is that love is fundamentally relational and transcendent. We are not complete in ourselves nor do we complete each other, but are interconnected through a greater love. Our limitations become opportunities for divine love to shine through. Each person becomes a “window” through which the infinite can be glimpsed.

This understanding reframes human relationships as spiritual experiences. They are not just about personal satisfaction or meeting individual needs, but about participating in a broader, more expansive love. Our connections become acts of revelation, showing how God’s unconditional love can be experienced and shared.

The Christian life is essentially a journey of making God’s presence tangible through love. It’s about recognizing the divine in ourselves and in others, and creating spaces where that love can be celebrated and experienced.

Ultimately, we need to see relationships not as ends in themselves, but as sacred pathways to understanding a love that is infinite, unconditional, and transformative. Each interaction becomes an opportunity to reflect and experience the profound, all-embracing love of God.


Marriage is not a lifelong attraction of two individuals to each other, but a call for two people to witness together to God’s love. . . . [The] intimacy of marriage itself is an intimacy that is based on the common participation in a love greater than the love two people can offer each other. They are brought together, indeed, as two prayerful hands extended toward God and forming in this way a home for God in this world.

Henri Nouwen

Turn the Page: Exploring National Book Lover’s Day

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August 9 is birthdate of my father, H.D. “Doc” Adams, who was born in 1927.

It’s also Book Lover’s Day.

Those two seemingly incongruent circumstances actually have a powerful connection for me.

After suffering a major stroke on February 10, 2012, my father passed away on February 25. By the time I was able to get back to Tennessee to see him, he had lost motor functions and speech capacity. Over the few days I was there, the slow but steady decline continued.

I had last seen him during the previous Christmas holidays. While there, I spent some time alone at home with him. After suffering a series of strokes over the past several years, he could no longer read – but the legacy of his reading lined the bookshelves all over my boyhood home. In the quiet hours when everyone was asleep, I scanned the shelves and remembered hearing him talk about this book or that one. I pulled a few off the shelf, and opening them, was instantly transported back in time to a conversation about the subject, or to memories of the event itself.

I’ve been a reader of books since, well, before I can remember. My father was an avid reader, and he passed that passion along to me at an early age. Even though he worked 6 days a week, 12 hours a day as a gas station owner, he often spent several hours reading each night. A recent revelation from a book brought his actions sharply into focus:

The manual labor of the past that allowed a human being to work in an embodied way, and to contemplate in heart and mind while working with one’s hands, encouraged the desire for reading after the physical exertions were completed. One can imagine why a farmer might kick off his boots after a day of sweat and dirt to read a good book.

Reading for the Love of God, Jessica Hooten Wilson

That was my father.

He insisted my mother take my brother and me to the library in the next town and check out books – every two weeks. I would get the maximum number of books, take them home, and read them – usually in the first day or two. Then it would be an impatient wait till the next library trip.

Reading is a passion I treasure, and one that I am thankful my father instilled in me.

The library habit of my boyhood stuck with me through elementary, junior, and high school; it remained in college and graduate school and post-graduate specialized studies. Each of my vocational roles since school “ended” have included reading as a part of what I brought to the task. It continues to this day, with a weekly visit to my local library to drop off books read and pick up books on hold – usually three or four in each category.

Every year on August 9, bibliophiles around the world unite in celebration of National Book Lover’s Day. This special occasion honors the profound impact that books have on our lives, cultivating imagination, expanding knowledge, and fostering personal growth. As we mark this day, it’s an opportune moment to reflect on the enduring value of reading and explore ways to enrich our literary experiences.

Book Lover’s Day is a great day to celebrate. Just grab an interesting book, find a quiet, cozy place, and crack open the cover. Celebrating Book Lover’s Day in August is pleasurable on the deck, under a shady tree, poolside, or in a cozy hammock. If you fall asleep while reading, that’s okay. It’s all part of the relaxing benefits of being a book lover.

The “WHY” I read so much is covered above. Here’s a clue of the “HOW” and “WHAT” of my reading, and why Book Lover’s Day is important:

I love (and practice) the 4 different levels of reading as espoused by Mortimer Adler in his great book, How to Read a Book, but I really like to latch onto a topic and practice synoptical reading. Also known as comparative reading, it is where many books are read, and placed in relation to one another and to a subject about which they all revolve.

For decades, an ongoing topic of synoptical reading has been about Walt Disney and the “kingdom” he founded. My current Disney library is over 500 books, dating from 1939 to current releases – and I’m still actively researching the subject, and discovering new authors and books regularly. Here’s a few of my latest or soon to be acquired Disney books:

In addition to the pure enjoyment of reading on the subject, these books provide a constant reference for illustrations when I’m writing about hospitality, planning, vision, and other topics that Walt Disney lived out – and to some extent – the Disney organization still practices.

In addition to Disney synoptical reading, I’ve always got small threads of other, diverse, synoptical reading going on, often spurred by long-running interests and subsequent book searches.

Here are a few recent ones:

I am very fortunate in that reading is a part of my work role. As Digital Engagement Leader for Auxano, there’s current reading for our monthly themes and daily social media posts (X, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook), other internal Auxano writing projects, research for Navigators, and believe it or not, reading just for the pleasure of reading – a nightly occurrence.

In addition to the above images, here’s a few topics I’ve been reading in the past few months:

  • Ongoing research into the concepts of hospitality in the home (what I’ve termed,”First Place Hospitality”)
  • Tracking the development of hospitality in the U.S. – especially in the food services area
  • Exploring the journey of becoming a “modern elder”
  • Shepherd leadership (biblical concepts relevant for the 21st century)
  • Leadership lessons from the book of Nehemiah

Of course, there’s always some new Disney history coming off the presses that I include in the mix!

So, on Book Lover’s Day, and in memory of my father, I’m trying to emulate Thomas Edison, who believed that voracious reading was the key to self-improvement. He read books on a remarkable range of subjects to address his endless queries.

As Edison noted, “I didn’t read a few books, I read the library.”

How are you celebrating Book Lover’s Day?

On August 9, take time to honor your love of books in meaningful ways. Gift a book to a friend, donate to literacy programs, or simply indulge in an afternoon of uninterrupted reading. Share your favorite quotes or book recommendations on social media using #NationalBookLoversDay to inspire others.

Consider revisiting a beloved childhood story or finally tackling that classic you’ve always meant to read. Organize a book swap with friends or host a literary-themed gathering. Whatever form your celebration takes, use this day as a reminder of the transformative power of books and the joy they bring to our lives.

As we commemorate National Book Lover’s Day, let’s reaffirm our commitment to the written word. In a world of constant digital stimulation, books offer a unique form of engagement – one that nourishes our minds, touches our hearts, and expands our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. So pick up a book, turn the page, and embark on your next literary adventure. After all, every day is an opportunity to celebrate the enduring magic of reading.

If you want to know more about my dad, here is the eulogy I gave at his funeral. After the funeral, while my sons and I were moving some things around his gas station, I discovered one reason I am so passionate about guest experiences. And read this post to find out why readers are leaders.

Milestones of Love: Celebrating 44 Years Together

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Today, Anita and I are celebrating our 44th wedding anniversary.

Or, to put it another way, that’s:

  • 2,296 weeks
  • 16,072 days
  • 385,728 hours
  • 23,143,680 minutes
  • 1,388,620,800 seconds

Anniversaries can’t just be measured in time…

  • 2 apartments and 5 houses in 5 cities in 4 states for the first 16 years, then…
  • 1 house for the next 28 years (but now it looks very little on the inside like then!)
  • 4 kids, 4 years apart
  • 3 daughters-in law and 1 son-in-law
  • 9 grandchildren
  • 26 years of public school (and PTA meetings! And fund-raisers! And science projects! And field trips! And…)
  • 36 years of children’s’ sports (4 kids, multiple sports, multiple seasons – you do the math)
  • 7 sets of stitches in one kid before he was 6; and 3 for all the others combined
  • 1 broken leg – different kid
  • 1 broken wrist – different kid
  • 1 torn ACL and meniscus – different kid
  • 3, 13 year-old trips with our kids (one unnamed son never redeemed his!)
  • 44 anniversary dates – dinners, movies, concerts, plays, trips – all great experiences (even #10, which took a few hours for the conversation to thaw…)
  • 2 dogs
  • 12 cars
  • 39 fresh-cut Christmas trees (including the first, a very-Charlie Brown one), then…
  • 1 artificial Christmas tree
  • 16 different jobs (for the two of us) in 6 different industries
  • 5 phone numbers (till cell phones came along, to which we added 6 more numbers)
  • 4 place settings of our original everyday dishes (out of 14 to start with)
  • 4,943 books (give or take a few)
  • 4 high school graduations
  • 3 college graduations
  • 1 master’s graduation
  • 1 entire family Disney World trip
  • 4 couple’s Disney World trips
  • 1 Disney Cruise
  • A few tears
  • Lots of laughter
  • Good friends, near and far
  • Treasured memories
  • Adventures around every corner

How do I love thee?

 Let me continue to count the ways…

Remembering My Father, Celebrating Book Lover’s Day

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August 9 is birthdate of my father, H.D. “Doc” Adams, who was born in 1927.

It’s also Book Lover’s Day.

Those two seemingly incongruent circumstances actually have a powerful connection for me.

After suffering a major stroke on February 10, 2012, my father passed away on February 25. By the time I was able to get back to Tennessee to see him, he had lost motor functions and speech capacity. Over the few days I was there, the slow but steady decline continued.

I had last seen him during the previous Christmas holidays. While there, I spent some time alone at home with him. After suffering a series of strokes over the past several years, he could no longer read – but the legacy of his reading lined the bookshelves all over my boyhood home. In the quiet hours when everyone was asleep, I scanned the shelves and remembered hearing him talk about this book or that one. I pulled a few off the shelf, and opening them, was instantly transported back in time to a conversation about the subject, or to memories of the event itself.

I’ve been a reader of books since, well, before I can remember. My father was an avid reader, and he passed that passion along to me at an early age. Even though he worked 6 days a week, 12 hours a day as a gas station owner, he often spent several hours reading each night. A recent revelation from a book brought his actions sharply into focus:

The manual labor of the past that allowed a human being to work in an embodied way, and to contemplate in heart and mind while working with one’s hands, encouraged the desire for reading after the physical exertions were completed. One can imagine why a farmer might kick off his boots after a day of sweat and dirt to read a good book.

Reading for the Love of God, Jessica Hooten Wilson

That was my father.

He insisted my mother take my brother and me to the library in the next town and check out books – every two weeks. I would get the maximum number of books, take them home, and read them – usually in the first day or two. Then it would be an impatient wait till the next library trip.

Reading is a passion I treasure, and one that I am thankful my father instilled in me.

The library habit of my boyhood stuck with me through elementary, junior, and high school; it remained in college and graduate school and post-graduate specialized studies. Each of my vocational roles since school “ended” have included reading as a part of what I brought to the task. It continues to this day, with a weekly visit to my local library to drop off books read and pick up books on hold – usually three or four in each category.

Wednesday August 9 is Book Lover’s Day – not an official holiday but one I eagerly celebrate. Book reading is a great hobby. It’s an important one, too. Employers look for it on resumes. Reading is educational, informative, and relaxing. It makes us both smarter and happier people.

Book Lover’s Day is a great day to celebrate. Just grab an interesting book, find a quiet, cozy place, and crack open the cover. Celebrating Book Lover’s Day in August is pleasurable on the deck, under a shady tree, poolside, or in a cozy hammock. If you fall asleep while reading, that’s okay. It’s all part of the relaxing benefits of being a book lover.

I love (and practice) the 4 different levels of reading as espoused by Mortimer Adler in his great book, How to Read a Book, but I really like to latch onto a topic and practice synoptical reading. Also known as comparative reading, it is where many books are read, and placed in relation to one another and to a subject about which they all revolve.

For many years, an ongoing topic of synoptical reading has been about Walt Disney and the “kingdom” he founded. My current Disney library is over 450 books, dating from 1939 to current releases – and I’m still actively researching the subject, and discovering new authors and books regularly. Here’s a few of my latest acquisitions:

In addition to the pure enjoyment of reading on the subject, these books provide a constant reference for illustrations when I’m writing about hospitality, planning, vision, and other topics that Walt Disney lived out – and to some extent – the Disney organization still practices. With 2023 being the 100th anniversary of the founding of the company, there’s a lot to choose from!

In addition to Disney synoptical reading, I’ve always got small threads of other, diverse, synoptical reading going on, often spurred by long-running interests and subsequent book searches. Here’s a current one, entitled #BurgerQuest: a literary, culinary, and arbitrary journey in pursuit of America’s iconic delight. True to my nature, over the years I’ve built up a research library on the burger; here’s just a sampling of the texts dealing with the history of the hamburger:

As I continue to develop #BurgerQuest, I will be diving into the history of the restaurants who have brought the burger from the lunch wagons of the 1890s to today’s wide range of options.

One of the greatest contributors to my synoptical reading was an Auxano project, 8+ years in the running, that ended in 2021. It involved researching 574 books to produce 227 issues of a book excerpt project. For those of you who are curious, that’s a book stack over five stories high. You can read about it here.

Even with that big change in my reading habit, there’s always a book at hand!

There’s current reading for Auxano social media (Tweets, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook posts), other internal Auxano writing projects, and believe it or not, reading just for the pleasure of reading – a nightly occurrence.

Currently a few topics I’ve read for pleasure in the past few months include: ongoing research into the concepts of hospitality in the home (what I’ve termed,”First Place Hospitality”); tracking the development of hospitality in the U.S;  exploring the idea of the “modern elder”; select works about small town America, both past and present; the friendship of Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and  Harvey Firestone and their contribution to America’s development in the early 20th century; and shepherd leadership (biblical concepts relevant for the 21st century).

Of course, there’s always some Disney history coming off the presses that I include in the mix!

So, on Book Lover’s Day, and in memory of my father, I’m trying to emulate Thomas Edison, who believed that voracious reading was the key to self-improvement. He read books on a remarkable range of subjects to address his endless queries.

As Edison noted, “I didn’t read a few books, I read the library.”

If you want to know more about my dad, here is the eulogy I gave at his funeral. After the funeral, while my sons and I were moving some things around his gas station, I discovered one reason I am so passionate about guest experiences. And read this post to find out why readers are leaders.

How are you celebrating Book Lover’s Day?

Part of a regular series on 27gen, entitled Wednesday Weekly Reader

During my elementary school years one of the things I looked forward to the most was the delivery of “My Weekly Reader,” a weekly educational magazine designed for children and containing news-based, current events.

It became a regular part of my love for reading, and helped develop my curiosity about the world around us.

The Project: How It Started, How It’s Going

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My last post was the first part of a personal application to the concept of place attachment.

It’s all about loving where you live…

…starting with your home.

That post provided the context and brief story of why Anita and I made the decision 3+ years ago to stay put in our home of 28+ years, embarking on a renovation process which was recently completed.

In the spirit of the How It Started and How It’s Going craze of the past few years, I present to you a pictorial rendition of “The Project” with minimal comments. Be sure to look at the acknowledgments at the end for the great people who envisioned and pulled it off!

MASTER BATH

Almost ashamedly, the master bath had stayed the same since a few years after we moved in – in 1995!

Is there a better definition of How It Started and How It’s Going or what?

In addition to providing a walk-in shower with bench, there is much more storage space, brighter lighting, a heated floor, and a tankless water heater for the whole house.

DISNEY ROOM

Our three original kids’ bedrooms became multifunctional, while still keeping the ability to provide beds. Here’s our daughter Amy’s bedroom – pretty much the same through high school, college, and graduate school.

Now, it’s the “Disney Room” for our grandchildren’s enjoyment, completed with a LEGO Disney castle, two bookshelves, a reading nook, an enchanted rose, and even a “magic mirror.”

MY OFFICE

The upstairs bedroom suite, originally home to two of our boys, began to transition into my office in 2007. Needless to say, over the next few years, things got a little out of hand. Anita says the only way to truly appreciate the chaos of my office back then is via a panoramic image.

Yeah… As the picture indicates, I’m a horizontal organizer. Anyway, after over ten years of growing more chaotic, I saw the light, and agreed with Anita’s idea of the perfect office for me.

Not pictured is a futon that can sleep two. Also not pictured – the several thousand books relocated to my “library annex” for eventual disposition.

FAMILY ROOM

Not a lot to say here; while the kids were home, most evenings everyone who was home ended up here watching TV, reading, or something similar. We’ve hosted birthday parties, small groups, family gatherings of all types, and many other events here.

All of that still happens, but as you get a hint of above, and will see more clearly below, the location of many of those events has shifted. The biggest change here was the design and installation of the feature wall around and above the fireplace.

KITCHEN

Our kitchen has always played an important role beyond the preparation of food. From various tables at the rear window to hanging around the island, our family has spent many hours prepping meals, talking, laughing, occasionally crying, but always enjoying our connections.

Again, this is a great demonstration of How It Started and How It’s Going…

As you can tell, this is the heart of our renovation project. For over a year, Anita and I couldn’t figure out how to lay out what we were thinking of. We were comfortable designing the fireplace feature, and Anita did an amazing job on the design of the Master Bath and my office, but when it came to the kitchen, we were stumped. Through the connection of a neighbor, we met Tiffany Bray, an interior designer, and after initially spending a few hours with her, the result was the design you see above. With input from our two chef sons, she truly captured – and our contractor Todd Haudek delivered – what we were trying to come up with: a family gathering space, centered around food preparation, but with lots of space to involve as many people as possible. The island is massive – at least in our experience – but also seems quite comfy when family or friends are gathered around it to help with final food prep or circling around the buffet line. Built around a 36″ dual fuel range that Anita and I are still getting used to, the island is truly the center of the gathering space. Storage is located mostly along one wall, extending all the way to the top of 9′ ceilings and anchored on one end by an enlarged walk-in pantry and the other by a unique feature Anita came up with: a floor to ceiling storage cabinet that opens up to the hall, but is easily accessible to the kitchen. The rear wall has a long counter with seating, with a sliding window opening to the deck with a counter on the exterior. The coffee station – a must for all of our kids – has proven to be a natural go-to spot in the mornings. And finally – and most notably – removing the wall between the kitchen and dining room really opened up the space. It’s not so much a kitchen and open dining room as it is a true gathering space.

DINING ROOM

The space you see below has had multiple functions over the years – built and used as a dining room, it has also been a music room, an office for me, and work space for numerous school projects over the years.

That changed! In addition to removing the wall as noted above, we pushed the rear wall back 5 feet, aligning it with the rest of the house. It was only a few dozen square feet of new space, but combined with the wall removal, created a whole different feel. Additionally, we replaced the window with an 8′ door with sidelights – not only providing plenty of natural light but drawing the eye upward.

DECK

As you see below, the original rear of the house had a small concrete patio extending under the overhang. There was an exterior paver patio at the other end of the house, but it wasn’t used much.

We wanted to create an outdoor space with lots of gathering options, and once again, Tiffany came up with a great design.

The result? A deck extending 12 feet out, the length of our house. On the dining room end, it extends 15 feet, with a covered porch above it. For safety, railings extend all around, with an opening onto steps leading to the backyard. In the middle of this very hot summer, the shade of the trees, the porch, and a fan make it bearable. In the evenings, it’s downright delightful! Even with the great gathering space inside, in just a few weeks, we’ve found that our guests naturally migrate to the deck, enjoying the outside views of our own 100 Acre Wood.

PROJECT ACKNOWLDEGEMENTS

Fireplace Wall Feature and Master Bath 

  • Contractor – Joel Presson, J-KAP Construction
  • Electric – Jeff DeMeo, JD Electric
  • Plumbing – Jeff Tadlock, Harold Ellis Plumbing

Kitchen, Dining Room, Deck 

  • Design – Tiffany Bray, TBD Tiffany Bray Designs
  • Contractor – Todd Haudek, Haudek Homes
  • Electric – Jeff DeMeo, JD Electric
  • Plumbing – Jeff Tadlock , Harold Ellis Plumbing

The individuals noted above provided excellent craftsmanship for our projects over the last few years. I wholeheartedly recommend each of them in their respective area of expertise, and would be happy to talk with anyone who wants to know more about what they do and how to contact them.

In closing, Anita and I want to again provide all the thanks to God for providing for our work, and reiterate that these spaces are not for just our enjoyment, but to extend the extraordinary hospitality God has shown us to family, neighbors, friends, and “friends we haven’t met yet”!

July 28, 2023

It’s Good to Be Home: Creating First Place Hospitality

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In what may seem to be direct opposition to my thoughts about front porches here and here, my wife and I have just completed a series of home renovations over the last three years that did not change our somewhat smallish front porch, but nevertheless, have increased our neighborhood connections.

It’s all about loving where you live!

Here’s the story…

My wife Anita and I have been married for 44+ years. We have three sons, (with three amazing daughters-in-law) and a daughter (married to a great son-in-law). These amazing kids and their spouses have been blessed with eleven children!

The image below represents the last time we were all together: Thanksgiving 2021 in Greenwich, NY. Since then we’ve added three little ones – all this year! Collectively, we are the #AdamsFamilyExperience!

About three years ago my wife and I, as empty nesters, made the decision to stay in our long-time home (29+ years) where our kids grew up – even as they moved away to establish homes of their own from one end of the country (New Mexico) to the other (New York, then Virginia), along with two who have settled in opposite ends of North Carolina. With one family in the military and moving about every three years, we decided to stay put.

With eleven grandchildren grouped into 2 ages (five age 3 and under, and six ages 10-16), we knew we needed space for lots of different activities.

What that means IRL:

  • With 11 grandchildren, our family numbers 21 when we all gather together (plus up to four dogs). We don’t get to do that as often as we would like, but we want to be prepared when we do! Thus…
  • Our renovations, although with different purposes, were all guided by the primary intention of creating more gathering space. Functionally, that meant keeping all four bedrooms useable, but with a different purpose: each of three bedrooms formerly used by our kids became (respectively) an office for my wife, an office for myself, and a Disney room for the grandchildren. Each of those rooms can sleep two or more.
  • With three bathrooms, we had no reservations about removing the garden tub in the master bath, and creating a walk-in shower. Need to bathe infants? No problem; we’ve still got two tubs.
  • In our family room, we were satisfied with the layout, but decided to mount a large screen TV on the wall to free up space below for additional seating. The fireplace, though adequate, seemed a little lonely on the tallest wall in the house, so Anita and I designed a feature wall that our contractor built to perfection.
  • Our biggest renovation, aka “The Project” was just completed and involved adding square footage to our house footprint, totally renovating the kitchen, removing a wall between the kitchen and dining room, and adding a full-width deck across the back of our house.
  • With the interior complete, up next is the final exterior project: some work on our backyard, freshening up outdoor play space for the younger four of our grandkids who are 3 and younger; correcting drainage flow due to the new roof and deck; and adding cafe lights to a portion of our deck.

Even when our family can’t visit as often as we would love to have them, our home is dedicated to hospitality for friends, neighbors, and those we haven’t met yet. In just the first month, we:

  • Kicked off the newest space with a Mexican fiesta luncheon for our church community group
  • Invited our neighbors on one side to a impromptu family dinner as a treat for all the hard work they’ve been doing on a pool install this summer
  • Hosted two of our kids’ families for the long Independence Day weekend: four extra adults, three grandchildren, and one large dog
  • Planned a neighborhood event that had to be postponed (but will be rescheduled)
  • Made our deck and kitchen available for our neighbor’s 12-year old daughter’s birthday party – even when we weren’t at home for the weekend.

In August, our NM kids and grandkids (two adults, three children) will be staying for five days as part of a two-week vacation.

…and we’ve got lots more planned for the late summer and fall!

My wife and I share a passion: creating hospitality culture lifestyles where ordinary people demonstrate extraordinary love.

In order to help make that possible in a physical space, here’s the dedication pledge my wife and I made over our renovations:

When we understand God’s welcome to us, we can better pass it on to someone else.

When we use our lives exactly as they are, desiring only to create a sacred space for our guests, we turn entertaining upside down and it becomes radical hospitality.

We don’t need to be who we used to be; God sees who we’re becoming – and we’re becoming love.

We can’t love people we don’t know. Saying we love our neighbors is simple. But guess what? Doing it is too. We think Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor” means we’re actually supposed to love our neighbors. Engage them. Delight in them. Throw a party for them.

Jesus wants us to show people who He is by what we do, not just tell them what we think.

It’s time to bring back the table to our homes.

If we really want to learn someone’s story, sitting down at the table and breaking bread together is the best way to start. The table is the place where our identity is born – the place were the story of our lives is retold, reminded, and relived.

(Special thanks to the writings of Bob Goff and Len Sweet)

The solution is to get back to the basics of what Jesus commanded:

Love God and love your neighbors.

Think of it as First Place Hospitality – building bridges to your neighbors in your “First Place,” your home.

Next Time: Images and Acknowledgments for The Project

The Power of Sacrifice: Why Independence Day Holds Deeper Meaning

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I have always loved history. Not many accounting majors have a minor in US History; the same goes for a Masters in Administration and Communication with a minor in Baptist History. But of all the history periods, I think the American Revolution is my favorite.

This time of the year – July 4th – is a time to read the Declaration of Independence, sections of the Federalist Papers, and Common Sense.

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For me, Independence Day now carries a different meaning.

My son is in the Air Force. He’s been deployed twice in his career to date.

While my father and father-in-law both served in WWII and the years afterwards, and several cousins were in Viet Nam, somehow it’s all very personal now.

America celebrates 247 years as a nation this July 4th, even though the independence we celebrate was not settled for another seven years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. In the many years since we have gone through a devastating civil war, numerous regional wars, two World Wars, a Cold War, and a global war on terror that has no country but untold numbers of faces.

It seems that to have peace you must have war.

I pray for my son every day, for safety as he performs his duty. I know that he has been trained and prepared to do his best, and give his all, for his family and his country. While it is a sacrifice he is prepared to make daily, I hope he never has to.

Hundreds of thousands of men and women have made that sacrifice since 1776, and continue to do so to this day.

So when you celebrate freedom this July 4th, never forget the price others have paid.

10 Years Ago, the Adams Family Pizza Quest Came to an End…

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Pizza may not fit your definition of comfort food, but it comes close in our family.

A semi-tradition for many years in our family has been Friday Night Pizza and a movie, usually consisting of whatever local pizza store (almost always one of the national chains) had the best deal going on. On the same trip, we would go by the video store and pick up a DVD to watch.

Netflix and then Amazon Prime changed part of the equation, but the pizza part remained intact.

As the years went by and our family dwindled, pretty soon it was just Anita and I – functional empty nesters, as our youngest son was a full-time culinary student and worked in a restaurant, or was out with friends. Along with that change came a realization that there were a lot of pizza restaurants in and around Charlotte – 371 by my count on Urban Spoon in 2011. I pondered (and my wife Anita humored me): what if we go out for pizza on Friday nights, and try a different place every time?

Thus was born the Adams Family Pizza Quest.

pizza

Beginning in early 2011, I led the Adams Family Pizza Quest, a weekly pursuit of the quintessential pizza. My family and I  (well, mostly me; the rest just humored me) utilize a 5-slice rating system that measures menu selection, crust, base ingredients, toppings, overall pizza goodness and ambiance of the restaurant. I actually have a nerd version that has 35 points, but after a round of boos and garlic knots thrown in my direction I hastily retired it.

By late 2013, after almost three years of weekly excursions, only 1 pizza has earned 5 slices. That would be The Sicilian – Red sauce, sausage, cappicola, salami, oregano, basil, pecorino-romano and fontina – accompanied by an Italian Chopped Salad, from WaterStone Wood Fired Pizza in Lynchburg, VA. Anita and I stumbled on it by accident, walking downtown along the river.

Several others have earned 4 1/2 slices, many have earned 4, and a lot have earned 3. We’ve only encountered a few 2 slices, and in all honestly, not a single 1 slice rating (maybe we just naturally steered away from those joints).

Our favorite Charlotte pizza place is Zio’s Casual Italian off Providence Road. It was one of our early discoveries, earning a strong 4 3/4 slices; somehow we have found our way back there several times, taking friends who haven’t heard of it.

Other top restaurants are Mama Ricotta’s, Luisa’s Brick Oven, The Brickhouse Tavern, and Tony Sacco’s Coal Oven.

I could go on, but I won’t, as the Adams Family Pizza Quest comes to a close (sort of). After over 100 different visits in the greater Charlotte area, and a few across the country, my sense of adventure for pursuing the perfect pie has waned. Mind you, my taste for pizza hasn’t – I’m sure we will still be eating pizza on a regular basis.

It’s time for new adventures…

Stay tuned…