Author Archives: Bob Adams

The Marks of a Mentor

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The simplest definition of a mentor is a person committed to two things: helping you grow and keeping you growing, and helping you realize your life goals.

Okay, but what does a mentor look like?

Howard and Bill Hendricks’ book “As Iron Sharpens Iron” has been a great reference for my understanding and development of the concept of mentoring. Their intentional strategies and practical suggestions are a gold mine for anyone looking for a mentor, or to be a mentor. A great place to start? The 10 Marks of a Mentor:

A Mentor Seems to Have What You Personally Need

Whatever your mentoring objectives are, the only person who can help you achieve them is the one who has already developed those capacities himself. It’s a basic principle of spiritual nurturing: you cannot impart what you do not possess. So, look for a mentor who actually has the goods, not just one who looks good.

A Mentor Cultivates Relationships

An effective mentor has to be willing to give of himself to another human being. He must be capable of establishing an maintaining a relationship. Otherwise, he will have difficulty attracting anybody, despite the considerable value of what he may have to offer.

A Mentor is Willing to Take a Chance on You

A mentor is going to make a certain investment in you – an investment of time, energy, emotion, trust, and other resources. Investments always involve a measure of risk. This is as true in mentoring as anywhere else, because there are no guaranteed outcomes to the mentoring process. As you seek an “investor,” you have to ask yourself: Is this person willing to run the risk with me? Or is he so risk-averse that he’ll never give me a chance?

A Mentor is Respected by Other Christians

A mentor should be respected by other effective Christians. Among the qualifications for church leaders are that a man be “above reproach” and “respectable” (1 Timothy 3:2). As you consider a potential mentor, you need to conduct something of a background check on the prospect, particularly if you do not know him personally or have not known him for very long. Ask other people’s opinions, particularly those of mature believers, to indicate whether he is worth the risk.

A Mentor has a Network of Resources

The more extensive a network your mentor has, the better. Mentors can help you reach your life goals because of who they know and what they know. This knowledge base gives them tremendous power to promote your welfare. Your mentor can help you with your needs and objectives by introducing you to people, books, seminars, programs, and other resources that can encourage you in your development. The better the network, the more help he will be.

A Mentor is Consulted by Others

One of the best indicators that a man would serve well as a guide is if he is already serving as a guide to others. The prime candidates are the ones who already have a reputation as mentors. This ability to offer counsel is crucial. It is not wisdom alone that qualifies a person to coach another person, but his ability to communicate effectively and apply his wisdom to the other person’s need.

A Mentor Both Talks and Listens

The issue is communication. Most people think of communication as being all about speaking. But the truth of the matter is that you become an effective communicator by becoming an effective listener. Without question, communication is a two-way street, involving both speaking and listening. But of the two, listening is by far the harder to learn. A good mentor is a good listener. If you bring him a problem, a question, a comment, an idea, he will more than likely help you figure it out and run with it, rather than regale you with his own polished presentation. Mentoring is not about your mentor displaying his brilliance; it is about you as a protégé learning to step up to the next level, so that you can develop your competencies.

A Mentor is Consistent in His Lifestyle

What your mentor does and how he lives will have a far greater impact on you than anything he says. In fact, you may forget 90 percent of what he says, but you’ll never forget how he lived. There is no substitute for a person of consistent Christ-like character. He doesn’t have to try to snow you with words – his life is the most eloquent sermon there is. You want a person who is progressing toward maturity. That means a person who is authentic – as honest about his failures and weaknesses as he is realistic about the things he has going for him.

A Mentor is Able to Diagnose Your Needs

All of us have blind spots, areas of which we are unaware. That’s why we need people who can diagnose our developmental and spiritual needs. When you’re out of your depth, you need a competent person who not only can see that something is wrong, but can figure out what it is and how to fix it. A good mentor has the analytical ability to distinguish between nagging symptoms and underlying diseases.

A Mentor is Concerned with Your Interests

Looking for a mentor requires a moderate dose of healthy self-interest. We’re talking about your life and your development. Therefore, you are looking for someone who will champion your best interests. Ideally you want a person whose greatest joy is to see you succeed. If you succeed, he succeeds, and if you fail…well, he’s there to pick you up, dust you off, and get you back on your horse.

As you evaluate people according to these ten marks of a mentor, be realistic: you are going to find that almost every person falls short in some way. In other words, you will never find the perfect mentor. The point of this list is not to disqualify as many people as possible, but the urge you to aim high. A mentor can have a profound influence on you life, so it’s worth finding the most qualified person you can.

You’ve got a checklist in hand – now where do you find a mentor?

(from a prior series on Mentoring, while I am away on vacation)

The First Mentor

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As we move through this thing called “life,” don’t we all wish we had a guide, a coach, a model, an advisor?

We’re looking for a mentor.

When the Greek warrior Odysseus went off to fight in the Trojan War, he left his young son Telemachus in the care of a trusted guardian named Mentor. The siege of Troy lasted ten years, and it took Odysseus another ten years to make his way home. When he arrived, he found that the boy Telemachus had grown into a man – thanks to Mentor’s wise tutelage.

It is from this ancient Greek story that we now commonly speak of a mentor as someone who functions to some extent as a father figure (in the best sense of the word). A mentor is someone who fundamentally affects and influences the development of another, usually younger, person. Over the next few days I want to explore the concept of mentoring and its application in ChurchWorld.

Howard and William Hendricks, writing in their book “As Iron Sharpens Iron,” introduce their concepts on mentoring this way: At their best, mentors nurture our souls. They shape our character. They call us to become complete persons, whole persons, and by the grace of God, holy persons. The Bible puts it this way: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Have you been sharpened against the whetstone of another person’s wisdom and character?

A single question to get you thinking about this mentoring concept:

Who are the people who have helped make you who you are today?

(a prior post on Mentoring, while I am away on vacation)

The Future is Always Now

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Leaders create their own future.

That’s not an original thought, I just can’t recall who first said it.

I’m learning that families create their own future, too. One slice of that took place yesterday when my wife and I took our oldest son, his partner, their three-year old son, and my 18-year old son to Discovery Place KIDS in Huntersville for an afternoon’s fun – and learning. We thought that a ratio of five adults to one three-year old would be about right.

DPK is an interactive museum designed specifically for younger children. My grandson was won over the minute he walked in the door and saw a real fire truck just waiting for him to climb on board. From there it was a trip through the drive-through at the bank, the grocery store, a farm (tractor included), a rock-climbing wall, restaurant, brick factory, race car, auto shop, and on and on…

Two hours later but still going strong, he reluctantly left with Nina and GrandBob (with the promise we could come back). After our meal, it was back to full speed again, running and playing in our yard, then running down to the end of our cul-de-sac, racing his dad and kicking a ball. He got to meet a few neighbors, and a dog named Sam.

Back inside for cupcakes and ice cream (celebrating his dad’s 30th birthday) then he was ready to go again. By that time the long day was winding down, and they had a two-hour drive back home.

Reflecting on the day’s events, I thought about Jack, his mom and dad, his uncle, and at my wife and me. We weren’t looking at the future…

…the future is now.

The same thing is true in ChurchWorld. We aren’t preparing future leaders – they are among us now – and they are all ages: 18 years, 30 years, and yes, even three-year olds. My family outing at DPK was a perfect illustration of the tremendous opportunity we have at this moment for the church.

James Emery White, pastor of Mecklenburg Community Church, has a great post here. It speaks of the disconnect between 30 somethings in the church and their parents. That’s me, and that makes it personal.

The title of this blog – 27gen – comes from the 27 years separating the four generations of Adams males: my father, me, my son, and his son. That’s the lens through which I am constantly viewing the world, and one that I hope you enjoy dropping in on.

Today’s assignment: Take a look around you right now. Who is younger than you, and what can you learn from them? Who is older than you, and what can you learn from them? Now flip it: what can you do to help someone younger, and older, learn from you today?

The future is NOW!

(From a prior post on Mentoring while I’m on vacation)

Stories Convey Meaning

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Stories are the most powerful delivery tool for information; more powerful and enduring than any other art form.

People love stories because life is full of adventure and we’re hardwired to learn lessons from observing change in others. Life is messy, so we empathize with characters who have real-life challenges similar to the ones we face. When we listen to a story, the chemicals in our body change, and our mind becomes transfixed.

Stories link one person’s heart to another. Values, beliefs, and norms become intertwined. When this happens, your idea can more readily manifest as reality in their minds.

Tell the story.

Adapted from Resonate, by Nancy Duarte

Change is…

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Healthy.

Organizations are not alive in a literal sense – but they have to change and adapt in order to stay alive.

Nancy Duarte, writing in “Resonate,” talks about the life cycle of organizations – start-up, growth, maturity, and eventually decline. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

An organization should make continual shifts and improvements to stay healthy.

In order to do that well, leaders must excel at persuasion.

Movements are started, products are purchased, philosophies are adopted, subject matter is mastered – all with the help of persuasive presentations.

Presentations create a catalyst for meaningful change by using human contact in a way that no other medium can.

Go ahead – change the world.

The Guest Perspective

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Along with Network Navigator Jeff Harris, I am onsite this weekend in Houston, TX, conducting Guest Perspective Evaluations for two clients. Jeff and I spent time Saturday cruising the communities around the two churches, conducting a “windshield survey” of the areas.  Even though we have also spent time in the digital world of Google Maps, it’s always great to see and experience first-hand the neighborhoods of the churches we are working with.

On my flight out from Charlotte early Saturday morning, I continued reading Andy Stanley’s newest book Deep and Wide. It’s a great book for a bunch of reasons, but I’m going to pull a few quotes out here for their relevance to what Jeff and I are doing today.

Every Sunday people walk onto your campus and determine whether or not they will return the following week before your preacher opens his mouth. And that’s not fair. But it’s true. The moral of the story: Environment matters.

Environments are the messages before the message. The messages your environments communicate have the potential to trump your primary message.

By the time I (Andy Stanley) stand up to deliver what is traditionally considered the message, everybody in our audience has already received a dozen or more messages.

The quality, consistency, and personal impact of your ministry environments define your church. To put it another way, your environments determine what comes to mind when people think about your church.

I think we should determine the messages our environments communicate. We should choose the messages before the message. It’s our responsibility to shape the way people view our local churches.

The moment a church, or even a group of leaders within a church, catches a vision for capturing the hearts and imaginations of those who consider themselves unchurched or dechurched, environments take on new significance.

The longer you’ve served where you are and the longer you’ve done what you are currently doing, the more difficult it will be for you to see your environments with the objectivity needed to make the changes that need to be made. The shorter version: Time in erodes awareness of.

Every one of your ministry environments is being evaluated every week. Based on that evaluation, some people choose not to return. Additionally, every volunteer and staff member is evaluating the success of his or her particular environment against some standard. If you don’t define what excellence looks like for your staff and volunteers, they will define it for themselves. And when you don’t like what you see, you will only have yourself to blame.

Stanley’s words are a powerful reminder of just how important your Guest Experience is.

I’ve got my talking points for the Guest Perspective Evaluation with the Executive Team:

Environment matters.

Time in erodes awareness of.

Those phrases, with several hundred images and about 5-7 minutes of video, will make for a very interesting time come Monday morning.

Compelling Environments: The 2012 Solomon Awards

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Celebrating Innovation, Quality, and Service to Churches

The WFX Solomon Awards, presented by Worship Facilities Magazine, Worship Facilities Designer Magazine, and Church Production Magazine is the leading annual national award recognizing church building design across the full spectrum of church sizes and styles.

It’s been my privilege to serve on the WFX Advisory Council for the last five years, and part of my responsibility is participating in the judging of the Solomon Awards. I eagerly anticipate receiving the judging package each summer, because I know I will be looking at some of the best design and construction projects that are helping advance the message of Christ. Here is a brief summary of the winning projects:

Best Building Contractor – Visioneering Studios, for Centerpoint Church in Murrieta, CA. Centerpoint Church recently moved to a green field site in the town of Murrieta. Realizing that they had outgrown the capacity of the modest building originally built, it was time to start the second phase with a larger auditorium and let the children grow in the original building.

Best Church Architect, 1-800 seats – CDH Partners, for St. Elmo UMC in Chattanooga, TN. St. Elmo UMC, located in a historic district, suffered a fire loss in 2009. Three exterior walls from the 1920s structure were preserved. An addition and rebuilding of the interior provided congregants with the best of both worlds: a new building within the historic walls of the original church.

Best Architect, 800+ seats – HH Architects, for the Family Life Center at Trietsch Memorial UMC in Flower Mound, TX. After experiencing the massive influx of refugees from Hurricane Katrina in 2005, and again from Hurricane Ike in 2008, Trietsch UMC commissioned not only an exciting space for their Youth program and for community Outreach, but also a certified Red Cross Shelter for future emergency needs.

Best Church Design: Expansion – HH Architects, for First Baptist Church Allen, TX Lobby and Children’s Building. HH Architects helped FBC Allen implement their vision of the 21st Century of unifying their existing campus of buildings reflecting their sixty year heritage  with the addition of a stunning new rotunda connector, and a Children’s Building designed for sustainability.

Best Church Design: New Project – BLDD Architects, for the Betty and Kenneth Hawkins Centennial Chapel at Olivet Nazarene University. The Centennial Chapel provides a place for worship and outreach for one of the nation’s premier Christian universities. This 75,000 square-foot facility, with its 3,080 seat auditorium and large lobby/gathering space, accommodates a wide range of programs from music to lecture.

Best Church Design: Renovation – LIVE Design Group, for Four One Five City Centre (Agape Church) in Laurel, MS. More than just a renovation project, the work of LIVE Design Group with Agape Church on their Four One Five City Centre project transformed an abandoned building into a thriving community center and growing church, while stimulating an exciting urban revitalization that has energized the entire town of Laurel.

Congregations to these congregations and the professional firms that helped them advance their mission through the built environment.

 

Compelling Environments: Next Generation Youth Spaces

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Most church youth spaces have come a long way from the metal folding chairs in a basement that were once the norm. And while climbing walls and video game stations may be what comes to mind in cutting-edge ministry, here are some views from designers who are working with youth spaces across the country.

Worship Facilities Magazine (founder of WFX) writer Cathy Hutchison asked these questions:

What are in the future for youth ministry facilities that will have real traction and influence?

The trend is toward spaces that foster authenticity, both environmental and relational. They don’t want “fluff” in a lot of artificial theming, but rather timeless design that integrates – not alienates – them into the church. There is design sensitivity to lasting emotion (relationships) over temporary emotion (environments). We try to design spaces that foster lasting relationships. Sandy Gibbs, Church Development & Design, LS3P, Greenville SC

We see a difference based on where ministries are located geographically. We have pursued edgier area design like shared community spaces, but we still have requests to do things we’ve been doing for the past 18 years. A lot is about spending time with the youth pastors who know the culture and the kids. For some, the solution will be high-tech such as two-sided, large –screen video displays with games in high-definition. But we are finding the trend is toward communal…the living room or coffee-house feel. Richard Carver, founder and CEO of Little Mountain Productions in Tulsa, OK.

What new strategies have you seen in architecture for youth facilities that really work?

We are seeing churches do amazing things in sharing their resources for the community. The spaces are designed to meet community needs without imposing the “churchy feel.” Our main question to youth ministers is “Do you need 100% of the space 100% of the time?” Most often, the answer is “no,” allowing you to put more into less space,, resulting in greater allocation of resources. Ravi Waldon, Principle, Waldon Studio Architects, Columbia, MD.

What do you wish youth pastors knew about facilities?

Kids are in anticipation of down time. In many of the areas where we work, the kids are so busy. Select sports, high-pressure academics, and extracurricular activities – the youth are so busy that they need the space to unplug and unwind. Intentional space for community over distractions allows them to be who they really are and connect. Scott Nelson, Principle, HH Architects in Dallas, TX.

With technology evolving it is hard to say. Of all the ministries in the church, I think youth ministers in particular need to be on the edge of things. We want to make sure there are no obstacles in the way of evolving ministries. The success of the space is really about leadership. A great youth pastor can make marginal facilities work. It is the people who connect. Dave Benham, Principle, LS3P Architects, Greenville, SC.

Read more about these trends and look at examples here.

Compelling Environments

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At Auxano, we have discovered that there are three dominant environments that every local church is attempting to create:

  • Worship environments
  • Connecting environments
  • Serving environments

Each one plays a significant role in transmitting and realizing the vision. Many times, these “environments” are figurative, and we are asking questions like “How does your vision integrate into your worship?” or “How well is your DNA transmitted through your volunteer small group leaders?”

But there is also a literal consideration to environment.

Today and the rest of the week, I will be posting about these literal environments. I am attending and speaking at the 10th Worship Facilities Expo and Conference in Atlanta, GA. In these few days dozens of presentations and a whole expo floor full of vendors will give a great “snapshot” of what the trends are in the environments of churches today – and for the future.

Communicate to Influence…

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…write to inform.

Communication is about getting others to adopt your point of view, to help them understand why you’re excited (or sad, or optimistic or whatever else you are.) If all you want to do is create a file of facts and figures, then cancel the presentation and send in a report.

– Seth Godin

I’m headed to Atlanta GA today for the 2012 Worship Facilities Expo (WFX). I have been very fortunate and honored to have been a part of every WFX since it began in Nashville TN in 2005. Because WFX held two events in some years, this will be the 10th time I have made a presentation (or two – or three) at the event.

I would like to think I’ve come a long way in my communication style.

When I look back at that first presentation, I cringe. Not because of the topic or content – it was well received. I just remember it being a very dense verbal communication that was all one way – a classic data dump. Coupled with my rapid-fire delivery, (I was born in Nashville TN, but must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle set at 78 rpm. Note – anyone under 30 reading this will have to check Wikipedia for the scoop on that) I’m surprised the audience remained upright.

But they did (I actually have proof – two of the participants that day were on the leadership team at Alliance Bible Fellowship, and we started a conversation that day that eventually led the church to pick me and my company (at the time) for a $5.6 million dollar, multi-phase construction project that is in its third phase at this writing). But I digress.

Our brains have two sides – an emotional right side and a logical left side. When you show up to speak to an audience, you can be sure they are showing up with both sides of their brains ready to be engaged. If you aren’t aware of the way you talk, the way you dress, your body language, and by the way, your content, you may be tuned out by the second slide of your PowerPoint or Keynote or Prezi.

You can wreck a communication process with lousy logic or unsupported facts, but you can’t complete it without emotion. Logic is not enough.

According to Seth Godin, a home run presentation is easy to describe: You put up a slide. It triggers an emotional reaction in the audience. They sit up and want to know what you’re going to say that fits with that image. Then, if you do it right, every time they think of what you said, they’ll see that image (and vice versa).

A presentation isn’t an obligation – it’s a privilege.

If you’re in Atlanta attending WFX, drop in on one of my presentations Wednesday 9/19 at 11 AM (The Servant Blueprint) in A313 or 3 PM (Selling Change) in A314.

As Andy Stanly says, I’d love the chance to challenge your mind in order to change your life.