Leaders Know How to Say “No” Gracefully

Does your organization try to do too much?

Every day ministry leaders spend too much time, managing too much church stuff, for too little life-change. It is safe to say that the church in North America is over-programmed and under-discipled.

Behind this reality is a super-irony: The result of our gospel work is limited, not by our lack of ministry activity, but by our excess.

  • We get too little not because of lacking motivation.
  • We get too little not because we need a better toolbox.
  • We get too little, and money is not the problem.

The gospel-centered, life-change impact of church is actually inhibited by the preponderance of offerings at church. We get too little precisely because we have too much.

It’s time to learn the power of “no.”

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THE QUICK SUMMARY – Essentialism, by Greg McKeown

The Way of the Essentialist isn’t about getting more done in less time. It’s about getting only the right things done.  It is not a time management strategy, or a productivity technique. It is a systematic discipline for discerning what is absolutely essential, then eliminating everything that is not, so we can make the highest possible contribution towards the things that really matter.

By forcing us to apply a more selective criteria for what is Essential, the disciplined pursuit of less empowers us to reclaim control of our own choices about where to spend our precious time and energy – instead of giving others the implicit permission to choose for us.

Essentialism is not one more thing – it’s a whole new way of doing everything. A must-read for any leader, manager, or individual who wants to learn who to do less, but better, in every area of their lives, Essentialism is a movement whose time has come.

A SIMPLE SOLUTION

Leaders today often feel like they should load up their calendars to the max, doing everything they possibly can to expand their horizons and improve their organizations. In this age of abundant information and easy access to knowledge, leaders are often driven to have and do it all. However, this mindset soon runs headlong into an unfortunate fact: we can’t do everything.

Instead, we should be focusing on what we should do, thinking instead about what is essential to our lives.

Remember that anytime you fail to say “no” to a nonessential, you are really saying “yes” by default.

Without courage, the disciplined pursuit of less is just lip service. Anyone can talk about the importance of focusing on the things that matter most – and many people do – but to see people who dare to live it is rare.

Once you have sufficiently explored your options, the question you should be asking yourself is not: “What, of my list of competing priorities, should I say yes to?” Instead, ask the essential question: “What will you say no to?”

This is the question that will uncover your true priorities. It is the question that will reveal the best path forward for your team. It is the question that will uncover your true purpose and help you make the highest level of contribution not only to your own goals but to the mission of your organization. It is that question that can deliver the rare and precious clarity necessary to achieve game-changing breakthroughs in your life.

Greg McKeown, Essentialism

A NEXT STEP

Daring to say no doesn’t mean saying no to all requests. It’s important to learn to say no to the nonessentials so we can say yes to the things that really matter. Leaders need to learn to say no – frequently and gracefully – to everything but what is truly vital.

How do you learn to say no gracefully? Here are some general guidelines for delivering a graceful “no.”

  • Separate the decision from the relationship
  • Saying “no” doesn’t have to mean using the word “no”
  • Focus on the trade-off
  • Remind yourself that everyone is selling something
  • Make peace with the fact that saying “no” often requires trading popularity for respect
  • Remember that a clear “no” can be more graceful than a vague or noncommittal “yes”

Saying no is its own leadership skill and follows any skill development path. You start out with little experience, and then learn basic techniques. As you make mistakes, you learn from them. You keep developing more skills and practicing them. In time, you will learn a whole new skill set.

In this case, it’s the skill of saying “no.”

Sometimes abandoning what’s been around for years is the right move, even if you’ve put a lot of time, effort, and other resources into it.

Doing less will actually make your ministry better in the long run.


Part of a new series on 27gen, entitled Wednesday Weekly Reader

Regular daily reading of books is an important part of my life. It even extends to my vocation, where as Vision Room Curator for Auxano I am responsible for publishing SUMS Remix, as biweekly book “summary” for church leaders. I’m going to peruse back issues of both SUMS and SUMS Remix and publish excerpts each Wednesday.

You can find out more information about SUMS Remix here. Subscribe to SUMS Remix here.

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