One of the most challenging aspects of leadership isn’t dealing with external obstacles – it’s managing internal resistance from your own team. While leaders generally prepare themselves for external challenges, the emotional toll of facing opposition from within can be particularly devastating, often leaving them feeling betrayed and discouraged.

 Every leader knows the stormy seas of resistance. When faced with change, even the most dedicated teams can push back, especially when there’s something to lose. How do you guide your team through these turbulent times without losing sight of the mission? Leading Through Resistance by Tod Bolsinger is a beacon for leaders navigating the choppy waters of organizational change.

Leading Through Resistance offers more than just strategies; it delivers a mindset shift. With wisdom woven through every page, Tod Bolsinger teaches you unexpected skills to not only face resistance but to transform it into a mission-driving force.

Leading Through Resistance is a roadmap to resilient leadership. Equip yourself with the tools to lead with confidence, adapt with grace, and inspire transformation. Whether you’re a seasoned leader or just starting your leadership journey, Leading Through Resistance is your essential guide to turning resistance into resilience.

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Understanding Internal Resistance

Internal resistance emerges when we introduce new ideas or attempt to implement significant organizational changes. As leaders, we often take this resistance personally, allowing our egos to become overinvolved until any disagreement feels like a direct challenge to our professional identity. This emotional response can lead to either passive avoidance or counterproductive pushback.

However, it’s crucial to understand that resistance to change isn’t malicious – it’s natural. As Edwin Friedman noted, sabotage isn’t “the bad things that evil people do,” but rather “the human things that anxious people do.” In fact, resistance is so inherently linked to the leadership process that it should be expected whenever significant change is initiated.

The Path Forward: From Pushback to Pull-Together

Instead of trying to eliminate resistance, successful leaders learn to lead through it. The key is to implement an emotionally intelligent process that transforms pushback into buy-in. Rather than meeting resistance with force, invite your team to lock arms and channel their energy toward collective progress.

Core Principles for Managing Resistance

Start with Dual Convictions

• The Preservation Conviction: Ensure all changes protect and maintain the organization’s core purpose and values
• The Change Conviction: Acknowledge that adaptation is necessary to preserve and advance the organization’s mission

Stay Calm, Curious, and Connected

• Maintain emotional equilibrium without becoming detached
• Create psychologically safe spaces for honest dialogue
• Move closer to resistance rather than away from it
• Transform heated emails into personal conversations
• Convert formal complaints into opportunities for coffee meetings

Practice Attunement

Research shows that nearly 90% of what distinguishes outstanding leaders comes down to emotional intelligence rather than cognitive abilities. This emotional intelligence manifests through four core competencies:

• Self-awareness
• Self-management
• Social awareness
• Relationship management

Practical Strategies for Implementation

Slow Down the Process – While crisis often provides the urgency needed for change, resist the temptation to rush. Frenetic action rarely leads to sustainable transformation.

Give the Work Back – Engage key stakeholders early in the process. As Patrick Lencioni wisely noted, “If people don’t weigh in, they can’t buy in.” Create a guiding coalition that includes even those likely to push back— – heir perspective is valuable.

Conduct an Accusation Audit – Begin by acknowledging potential objections and fears. People are typically twice as motivated by fear of loss as they are by potential gains. Creating this psychological safety helps lower defensive barriers.

Practice Active Mirroring – Listen intently enough to repeat key phrases and emotions expressed by others. The goal isn’t to get them to say “You’re right,” but rather to hear them say “That’s right” when you reflect their concerns back to them.

Embrace the Power of “No” – Counter-intuitively, a genuine “no” is more valuable than a “counterfeit yes.” When people feel safe expressing disagreement, it builds trust and opens the door to authentic commitment later.

For those of us trained in the old “command and control” mindset,  it is natural to assume that we have to stand our ground for things to go our way. Don’t eliminate resistance – lead through it.

Tod Bolsinger

The Adaptive Reset

The traditional leadership model of meeting resistance with resistance is outdated. Today’s effective leaders understand that attunement accelerates change. When clarity and empathy combine, they become powerful tools for reducing resistance and fostering genuine buy-in.

Remember that emotional connection precedes rational agreement. In the words of moral psychologist Jonathan Haidt, “Intuitions come first, strategic reasoning second.” By focusing on building trust and lowering defensiveness through genuine connection, leaders can create the conditions for meaningful transformation.

The path forward isn’t about domination or control – it’s about the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal. When leaders make the conscious choice to resist pushing back against pushback and instead attune with those who resist, they create the possibility for collective movement forward.

This approach isn’t manipulation; it’s a process of genuine mutual transformation rooted in deep values and full engagement. By combining clear purpose with emotional intelligence, leaders can turn opponents into allies and resistance into momentum for positive change.

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