Discover the secret to flourishing in an age of division: belonging. In a world filled with discord and loneliness, finding harmony and happiness can be difficult. But what if the key to unlocking our potential lies in this deceptively simple concept? Belonging is the feeling of being a part of a group that values, respects, and cares for us―a feeling that we can all cultivate in even the smallest corners of social life. 

In Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides, Stanford University professor Geoffrey L. Cohen draws on his own and others’ groundbreaking scientific research to offer simple, concrete solutions for fostering a sense of belonging. These solutions can generate surprisingly significant and long-lasting benefits.

Small but powerful actions can bolster belonging―actions such as encouraging people to reflect on their core values before they face a challenge or expressing belief in someone’s capacity to reach a higher standard. A wide range of innovative approaches have been found to boost achievement at work and at school, bridge political divides, reduce prejudice, and even contribute to overall health. Rigorously tested in diverse arenas―from classrooms to disadvantaged neighborhoods to iconic Silicon Valley companies―these methods offer a path forward in these demanding times. 

Belonging is a compelling read for all who yearn for a more connected world, whether you’re a manager or employee, an educator or student, a parent or caregiver, or simply someone seeking to make the most out of every moment you spend with others. Packed with actionable insights and specific strategies, this book offers hope and practical guidance, serving as both an inspiration and a roadmap to creating a world of inclusion, understanding, and empathy.

The science of situation-crafting provides valuable insights into our ability to cultivate a sense of connection and belonging in our lives. This situational literacy empowers us to face challenges that may threaten our sense of belonging. Here’s a core set of practices derived from Belonging that will provide insights to actively build belonging in our daily interactions.

1. Ask Questions and Listen: Appreciating the depth of individuals’ experiences through genuine curiosity is a powerful bond builder. By actively seeking perspectives and understanding people’s circumstances, we can provide more meaningful support and strengthen connections.

2. Give Your Perspective: Sharing our own stories and perspectives complements the need to understand others. Articulating the reasons behind our views can prevent stereotyping. Expressing dissent should be done with courtesy, signaling intent and allowing others the space to accommodate diverse viewpoints.

3. Be Polite: Politeness, a universal protocol, signifies respect for others. Simple acts like not interrupting, using “please” and “thank you,” and apologizing when necessary contribute to recognizing the belonging of others.

4. Affirmation: Creating opportunities for individuals to express themselves and feel valued is crucial. Affirmation goes beyond vapid praise, focusing on allowing people to share their commitments and values, reinforcing their sense of self.

5. Avoid Authoritarian Language: Acknowledging diverse perspectives by expressing ambivalence and actively learning about opposing views builds rapport. Signaling intentions before giving critical feedback fosters an atmosphere of concern and respect instead of dictation.

6. Use the Nonverbal Channel: Nonverbal cues such as nodding, smiling, and making eye contact convey interest and respect. However, authenticity is key, as coming across as fake can be counterproductive. Genuine nonverbal expressions enhance bonding.

7. Handle Yourself with Care: Being in the right mental and emotional state is crucial for meaningful interactions. Cultivating personal belonging allows us to navigate social situations thoughtfully, especially in challenging times, avoiding conformity to harmful stereotypes and norms.

8. Craft Your Situations with Care: Recognizing the entanglement of our identity with our environment, we can actively self-craft by situation-crafting. Acting as gatekeepers for social influences, cultivating a rich social life, and staying true to our values contribute to fostering belonging.

Conclusion

Building belonging is an ongoing practice that requires awareness and dedication. By incorporating these core practices into our daily lives, we can create positive interactions and strengthen connections. Small gestures and moments of connection have lasting effects, inspiring and empowering both ourselves and others. Let us embrace the magic of situation-crafting to make every situation a little better for everyone involved.

---

Part of a regular series on 27gen, entitled Wednesday Weekly Reader.

During my elementary school years one of the things I looked forward to the most was the delivery of “My Weekly Reader,” a weekly educational magazine designed for children and containing news-based, current events.

It became a regular part of my love for reading, and helped develop my curiosity about the world around us.