One of the best ways to make connections with other people is by closing your mouth and opening your ears.

That’s right – Listening.

And that often starts with paying attention.

Here’s an earlier post on “paying attention” that fits right into that concept.

So, assuming you are paying attention to your surroundings, how do you enter into a conversation that will help you connect better with people around you?

Surprisingly, one of the most important tools that you need to develop in your communication skills is not your mouth. It is those two things on either side of your head.

Use your ears more than your mouth in a conversation, and become an active listener.

The most basic explanation of active listening is that is is the kind of listening that involves the use of one’s full concentration. The goal of this type of listening is to understand the person delivering the message.

Active listening is a skill which you have to develop over time, constantly practice, and fine tune along the way.

Here’s a tool developed by Dave Ping to help you listen to other people and establish a better connection with them.

Whether you’re talking with a relative, a neighbor, a friend, or a co-worker, the more you know about the person’s likes, dislikes, anxieties, and hopes, the easier it will be to connect with his or her world to establish, and then grow, a relationship.

Download the form above, and use it to listen and observe, filling in the blanks as you think the other person would.

Any answers you don’t know can serve as opportunities to listen more and to grow in your relationship.

---