The Christmas season is upon us, and in our household, this means only one thing: The Adams Family Experience Christmas is gearing up for another legendary chapter! 

With 21 people from five families descending upon Huntersville, NC over three travel days from four locations, coordinating this event is less like planning a holiday gathering and more like executing a military campaign. In the spirit of strategic brilliance, I’ve turned to Sun Tzu’s The Art of War for guidance. After all, if Sun Tzu can conquer kingdoms, surely he can help me conquer Christmas chaos.

Step 1: Know Thy Enemy — The Guest List

Sun Tzu wisely said, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” Our “enemy” is not the need for lactose-free eggnog or gluten-free stuffing demands – it’s the sheer logistics of hosting this crew:

• From Alamogordo, NM: The desert-dwelling faction arrives with tales of tumbleweeds and an 3-year old whose energy rivals that of the Energizer Bunny.
• From Farmville, VA: A group of refined Southern charmers who always bring a new (and weird) game that everyone enjoys. Accompanying them is the newest granddog, a lovable golden retriever with the biggest feet we’ve ever seen.
• From Boone, NC: Our rugged mountain kin, eager to discuss “what real cold feels like” while chasing down the 18-month old “party animal”.
• From Fuquay-Varina, NC: The suburbanites are bringing diva dog (a beagle who doesn’t know she is a dog) and endless enthusiasm for games of all kinds – as long as they win.

The ages of our crew range from precocious toddlers to the youngest “elders” you’ve ever seen in their mid-60s. That’s five generational cohorts in one house!

Step 2: Every Battle is Won Before It is Fought — Sleeping Arrangements

With a full house and a rented Airbnb 4 houses down the street, the sleeping strategy must be airtight. Here’s the tactical breakdown:

Our House: Reserved for the early risers, light sleepers, and those who require direct proximity to coffee and tea. It’s essentially triage by caffeine dependence.

• Main Bedroom – The VA crew will be ensconced in the primary bedroom suite with kids, dog, and parents scattered around the space.
• Front Bedroom – The NM parents will ride herd on their kids scattered upstairs and downstairs.
• Disney Bedroom – The younger boys will be immersed in LEGO to their heart’s delight
• Upstairs Bedroom – All the older girl cousins will be stacked up in double-decker cots.

The Airbnb: This fortress houses the night owls and party animals. The teenage boys, armed with iPhones and headphones, are banished to a makeshift barracks in the family room. 

• Bedroom 1: Nina and GrandBob (the generals of this campaign) will run the whole multi-day event from this hideaway.
• Bedroom 2 – The Boonie parents, accompanied by the youngest member of the family, will retreat here.
• Bedroom 3 – The diva dog will be snoozing away at least 20 hours a day here, and has graciously consented to allow her people to stay and take care of her.

Step 3: Feed Your Troops — Meal Planning

“The line between disorder and order lies in logistics,” said Sun Tzu. Feeding 21 people, including gluten-free, lactose-intolerant, and diabetic contingents, is a logistical Everest. As you will see, we like to eat! Luckily, we have a lot of good cooks in the family! Here’s the plan:

Day 1: Reconnaissance Fare

As the crews begin arriving throughout the day, a light breakfast, followed by a visit to a great CLT restaurant, and ending with soup and chili is the plan. It’s versatile and scalable as our numbers increase during the day, and easily accommodates dietary needs.

Day 2: Full Crew Offensive

With almost the full #AdamsFamilyExperience tribe gathered, it’s time for a North Carolina staple at lunch: BBQ and all the fixings. When evening rolls around, it’s time for a Taco Bar, with specialties added in: Gluten-free tortillas, lactose-free sour cream, and enough of Uncle Aaron’s guac to fill a kiddie pool.

Day 3: Middle Earth Feast

A strategic masterpiece featuring the full seven meals of a hobbit’s day:

Everyone (well, maybe not the toddlers) is contributing to the feast courtesy of a shared Google doc and lots of research over the last month. At least half the fun will be the pandemonium of everyone working on their dishes throughout the day. It’s a good thing we will have two kitchens!

Day 4: Christmas Eve

Assuming we wake up from the previous day’s food coma, we will turn back to more traditional fare: breakfast goodies, Jimmy John’s sandwiches for lunch, and Mississippi Pot Roast for supper.

Day 5: Christmas Day

Pancakes! Fruit! Ham rolls! A Caprese Christmas Tree! Cranberry Orange Chicken! Roasted Root Vegetables! Winter Salad! Dessert! Oh. My.

Day 6: The Leftover Buffet

 As the crews begin to depart one by one, we will throw open the fridge and let the troops forage. Survivors will head to our favorite restaurant, La Unica, and the best server in the world, Nancy.

Day 7: Pizza Peace Talks

We’re down to one family besides Nina and GrandBob, but it’s the biggest with 5 kids! Time to roll out a family favorite: Pizza and a Movie!

Step 4: All Warfare is Based on Deception — Managing the Dogs

Two dogs present a unique challenge. Sun Tzu might suggest deploying decoys, but we’re going with containment zones:

• The Retriever – Assigned to the main house, complete with chew toys and a toddler-proof deck for plenty of space to roam as needed.
• The Beagle – Indoors at the main house, but nights at the Airbnb with the world’s softest dog bed to prevent territorial skirmishes.

From prior experience, there will be separate food/water bowls set up in different rooms in the house. Both dogs will be strategically kept away from the dining tables – a critical neutral zone.

Step 5: Let Your Plans Be Dark and Impenetrable — Entertainment Strategy

To maintain peace among 21 people, the entertainment schedule must be flawless. Sun Tzu reminds us, “Opportunities multiply as they are seized,” so we’ll seize opportunities for fun:

• Board games for the adults and teenagers; LEGO, kid games, and Disney movies for the children, and a Christmas craft activity with Nina
• The traditional Christmas LEGO project, drawing from a collection 40 years in the making
• Morning and afternoon walks with the dogs
• Outside fun on the playset or in the park, weather permitting
• Fire pit and deck heater for after-hours conversations 
• Christmas Eve service at our church
• Family gift exchange, courtesy of a holiday Gift Train, with 11 “cars” (apparently, adults don’t count)
• A family photo session that will be considered a success if it only takes 17 attempts
• Planned spontaneity

Step 6: In the Midst of Chaos, There is Also Opportunity

Let’s face it: no amount of planning will prevent every toddler meltdown, burnt pie crust, or game argument. But as Sun Tzu might say, victory isn’t perfection – it’s managing the mayhem with grace and the occasional adult beverage.

This year, the #AdamsFamilyExperience Christmas will be a masterpiece of strategic planning, creative problem-solving, and good humor. And if all else fails, there’s always the peace treaty of Netflix, Disney+,  and all-day pajamas.

Happy holidays from the “battlefield” – AKA the AdamsFamilyExperience. May your Christmas be as merry and well-planned as ours is striving to be!