You want more. You want to belong to a community that looks out for each other. You believe in your bones we don’t have to live detached, distracted, and divided. The question is, How?

Shannan Martin invites you into deeper connection through simple resets, such as:

Open Door > Perfect Décor. We invite others in, seeking to connect, not impress.

Familiar > Fussy. We serve tacos and pizza like the feasts they are, because fancy is overrated.

Tender > Tough. We greet the world with our hearts exposed and our guards down.

Packed with street-level practices and real-talk storytelling, Start with Hello is your field guide for a life of security, camaraderie, and joy. There is no step too small.

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We rely on various figures in our lives to guide us: pastors, priests, and spiritual advisors for matters of faith, doctors and therapists for physical and mental health, and teachers for a wide range of skills, from writing poetry to driving. Yet, there’s a significant gap in our education when it comes to building community. We’re not taught that it’s something we actively create with our own hands, tender hearts, and time. The process isn’t broken down for us, and the tools aren’t readily provided. It might seem like community effortlessly forms for some lucky individuals, leaving the rest of us feeling like we’re missing something.

In Start With Hello, Shannan Martin makes it very clear that she doesn’t offer solutions for anyone’s personal struggles; that’s not the purpose of her book. She still grapples with everyday challenges like lack of sleep or motivation, parenting dilemmas, and domestic disagreements. But what she does confidently share is how profoundly her life has been enriched by living closely connected with others. It’s one of the most genuine truths she has discovered – a truth that has reshaped her worldview and sense of self.

In many ways, Martin’s journey has brought her back to the simplicity and authenticity of her childhood, where quirks and letdowns were expected. It’s also been about discarding the loneliness narrative and embracing a fresh start, akin to opening a new notebook filled with possibilities. She readily shares here missteps, often by overanalyzing and trying too hard. She learned that genuine connections can’t be forced; they thrive on mutual solace and safety.

Martin is discovering how to take the lessons learned and cultivate them, acknowledging that imperfections can serve as fertile ground for growth. Honesty, humility, and humor are invaluable companions on her journey, as is a childlike imagination that dares to believe in better possibilities.

Authentic relationships don’t come with expiration dates; they unfold gradually, enriched by the seemingly insignificant moments. Every interaction holds potential, even if it’s as simple as exchanging a wave with a passing acquaintance. Over time, these small gestures can blossom into meaningful friendships, built on shared experiences and genuine understanding.

Don’t underestimate the power of a genuine connection. You may never bake that perfect coffee cake for your neighbor, but a chance encounter could lead to profound conversations and lasting bonds. It’s all about embracing the kind of person who values human connection and isn’t afraid to extend a friendly greeting.

Start With Hello is organized into the following sections:

• Awake > Asleep

• Windows > Mirrors

• Listening > Talking 

• Open Door > Perfect Décor

• Familiar > Fussy 

• Complexity > Comfort

• Tender > Tough

• Practice > Preach

• Roots > Wheels 

• Empathy > Everything

In addition to being filled with personal, heart-warming (and sometimes heart-wrenching) stories, each section closes with an “assignment” if you will; a practical action to put both feet and heart to what you’ve just read. Here’s one example from Martin’s section Windows > Mirrors:

The next time you need help, ask for it. This is hands-down my favorite, most foolproof tip for building relationships with the people near you. As we are people taught to solve our own problems, this humble practice cuts to the heart of who we think we want to be. But remember, interdependence is the goal here. Independence is overrated, not to mention lonely. A world where we rely on each other is better, brighter, and safer.

Like everything else worth doing, it will take some practice. Start small. Run next door and ask if they’ll grab your mail while you’re gone for the weekend. Cross the hall and ask for an egg. 

Before running out to buy a small appliance or yard tool that won’t get a lot of use, see if someone nearby has one you could borrow.

The best part? Though this isn’t about keeping score, it can be fun to find creative ways to repay the favor. (I recommend a hefty slice of whatever you baked with that borrowed egg.) 

Showing up needy sets the tone for a life of ordinary connectedness. You go first, and others will follow.

Connection is a circle, not a straight line. From attentiveness to empathy to hope, each feeds the others. I’m convinced staring at something small and beautiful might be the best way to survive this startling world.

Shannan Martin

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