In what may seem to be direct opposition to my thoughts about front porches here and here, my wife and I have just completed a series of home renovations over the last three years that did not change our somewhat smallish front porch, but nevertheless, have increased our neighborhood connections.

It’s all about loving where you live!

Here’s the story…

My wife Anita and I have been married for 44+ years. We have three sons, (with three amazing daughters-in-law) and a daughter (married to a great son-in-law). These amazing kids and their spouses have been blessed with eleven children!

The image below represents the last time we were all together: Thanksgiving 2021 in Greenwich, NY. Since then we’ve added three little ones – all this year! Collectively, we are the #AdamsFamilyExperience!

About three years ago my wife and I, as empty nesters, made the decision to stay in our long-time home (29+ years) where our kids grew up – even as they moved away to establish homes of their own from one end of the country (New Mexico) to the other (New York, then Virginia), along with two who have settled in opposite ends of North Carolina. With one family in the military and moving about every three years, we decided to stay put.

With eleven grandchildren grouped into 2 ages (five age 3 and under, and six ages 10-16), we knew we needed space for lots of different activities.

What that means IRL:

• With 11 grandchildren, our family numbers 21 when we all gather together (plus up to four dogs). We don’t get to do that as often as we would like, but we want to be prepared when we do! Thus…
• Our renovations, although with different purposes, were all guided by the primary intention of creating more gathering space. Functionally, that meant keeping all four bedrooms useable, but with a different purpose: each of three bedrooms formerly used by our kids became (respectively) an office for my wife, an office for myself, and a Disney room for the grandchildren. Each of those rooms can sleep two or more.
• With three bathrooms, we had no reservations about removing the garden tub in the master bath, and creating a walk-in shower. Need to bathe infants? No problem; we’ve still got two tubs.
• In our family room, we were satisfied with the layout, but decided to mount a large screen TV on the wall to free up space below for additional seating. The fireplace, though adequate, seemed a little lonely on the tallest wall in the house, so Anita and I designed a feature wall that our contractor built to perfection.
• Our biggest renovation, aka “The Project” was just completed and involved adding square footage to our house footprint, totally renovating the kitchen, removing a wall between the kitchen and dining room, and adding a full-width deck across the back of our house.
• With the interior complete, up next is the final exterior project: some work on our backyard, freshening up outdoor play space for the younger four of our grandkids who are 3 and younger; correcting drainage flow due to the new roof and deck; and adding cafe lights to a portion of our deck.

Even when our family can’t visit as often as we would love to have them, our home is dedicated to hospitality for friends, neighbors, and those we haven’t met yet. In just the first month, we:

• Kicked off the newest space with a Mexican fiesta luncheon for our church community group
• Invited our neighbors on one side to a impromptu family dinner as a treat for all the hard work they’ve been doing on a pool install this summer
• Hosted two of our kids’ families for the long Independence Day weekend: four extra adults, three grandchildren, and one large dog
• Planned a neighborhood event that had to be postponed (but will be rescheduled)
• Made our deck and kitchen available for our neighbor’s 12-year old daughter’s birthday party – even when we weren’t at home for the weekend.

In August, our NM kids and grandkids (two adults, three children) will be staying for five days as part of a two-week vacation.

…and we’ve got lots more planned for the late summer and fall!

My wife and I share a passion: creating hospitality culture lifestyles where ordinary people demonstrate extraordinary love.

In order to help make that possible in a physical space, here’s the dedication pledge my wife and I made over our renovations:

When we understand God’s welcome to us, we can better pass it on to someone else.

When we use our lives exactly as they are, desiring only to create a sacred space for our guests, we turn entertaining upside down and it becomes radical hospitality.

We don’t need to be who we used to be; God sees who we’re becoming – and we’re becoming love.

We can’t love people we don’t know. Saying we love our neighbors is simple. But guess what? Doing it is too. We think Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor” means we’re actually supposed to love our neighbors. Engage them. Delight in them. Throw a party for them.

Jesus wants us to show people who He is by what we do, not just tell them what we think.

It’s time to bring back the table to our homes.

If we really want to learn someone’s story, sitting down at the table and breaking bread together is the best way to start. The table is the place where our identity is born – the place were the story of our lives is retold, reminded, and relived.

(Special thanks to the writings of Bob Goff and Len Sweet)

The solution is to get back to the basics of what Jesus commanded:

Love God and love your neighbors.

Think of it as First Place Hospitality – building bridges to your neighbors in your “First Place,” your home.

---

Next Time: Images and Acknowledgments for The Project